Celebrity Cruise of a Lifetime

A brilliant new design for a luxury cruise ship by All Star Lines, is nearly complete. She should be ready for a launch date this spring. Her maiden voyage will embark from Paradise Island in the Bahamas. There has never been an ocean going vessel of this sort in nautical history. Luxury at any cost is the rule of the day.
Invitations are being sent out as we speak, to a host of celebrity passengers and idol worshipers. Among those already on board for this cruise is are a cast of characters that will include Miss Tyra Banks, Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O'Donnell, Dr. Phil McGraw, Bill O'Reilly, Nancy Grace, Geraldo Rivera, Oprah Winfrey, Perez Hilton, in fact anyone named Hilton is invited, the Bush family, however many can get away, the Cheneys and a list too long and distinguished of American royalty to mention here. Surely there will be many a surprise guest aboard.
Taking place continuously in the main salon,will be fashion shows and model competitions hosted by Tyra.
Rosie herself will be overseeing the cold cuts buffet.
Self help seminars at which Dr. Phil can finally let his hair down.
Book club readings and endorsements by that literary genius of our time, Oprah.
A fair and balanced, twenty four hour a day No Spin Zone by our favorite American and your protector, Bill O'Reilly.
Nancy Grace will hold daily lectures on what it's like to parent the only set of twins in medical history, and why their father belongs in prison
Mr. Bush will spread democracy on deck like a coat of paint while handing out resumes.
Mr. Cheney instructs on the finer points of skeet shooting and safe gun handling on the fantail. Music by Kenny G and Celine Dion will no doubt please even the most refined ears aboard.
This is shaping up to be the cruise of the century boys and girls. If you are a fan or follower of any of the above names, and who' who in Washington and Hollywood, we urge you to seek out tickets now. The ship is huge and there still is nearly unlimited space available.
Paradise Island, this mecca for the bold and beautiful has been specifically chosen for the point of sail. At a steaming speed of close to twenty four knots, the vessel should reach the first point of interest in just under a day, upon which time the four foot thick hull, constructed of soap flakes, card board and rock candy will dissolve somewhere over the Puerto Rican Trench at a depth of some eighteen thousand feet.
A picture of a life boat will be included with every passage booked.